Date rape is a term that shouldn’t exist (right along with rape in general); but sadly it does. Yet many of us fail to teach the women in our lives how to get through the dating scene without falling victim to the persuasion of another..or the trickery.
If you have a woman in your life that is actively dating, be sure to share this information with her. It doesn’t matter if she is a teenager are a woman on the dating scene for the second time in her life; safety is important and can easily be forgotten by people of all ages.
Some people go to the extreme of thinking that the only way to avoid date rape is to avoid going out to clubs, bars, or parties. Not so. While I understand the point – there are certain dangers that go hand in hand with clubs and drinking – there is no need to forego having some fun every now and then. In fact, for the most part, there is very little concern that date rape will occur on the dance floor or in the club where you are having a girl’s night out.
It is important to party safely, however. When you go out, go out in groups with friends that know you well. Talk to your friends about safety and make a commitment to keep an eye out for one another. If you are all on the dance floor at the same time and your drinks are left at the table, cover each with a napkin in an attempt to avoid something getting slipped in. This is no guarantee but it can serve as a safety measure.
If you go out on the town with the same group of women all the time, I say it’s a great idea for you to arrange some training where you can all learn effective martial arts moves that serve as self defense techniques as well. This way you are a force to be reckoned with on all fronts.
There are many martial arts styles out there; but not all are set up to teach you actual fighting techniques that you can use on the street. Martial arts moves that are effective for self defense will be ones that are easy to remember and use quickly. Should you find yourself in a dangerous situation where you need to employ martial arts moves, you don’t want to have learned one of the martial arts styles that is geared more towards sport. Find something that has the word “combative” in it, and you’re on the right path.
Am I saying that learning martial arts moves can save you from date rape? Well of course some sort of self defense training gives you a good start at protecting yourself. But date rape isn’t always about force. Most of the time, date rape is more about persuasion. Once you are sure of yourself and know that you cannot and will not be persuaded; then all you need to learn is the language in which to convey that to a man.
Not all men are bad; and not all will try to persuade a woman they meet at a bar or party to have sex with them. Some, however, will do just that. It is important that a woman not be afraid to hurt a guy’s feelings; and that she not be afraid to say “NO” very clearly. This is why I say learn some martial arts moves; it gives you confidence in yourself and takes away that fear of speaking up. The truth is, all it will likely take is you saying no for the situation to be done with. But out of fear, many women cannot find the word.
Not saying no clearly can get you into a lot of trouble. When dealing with someone trying to persuade you; the stance you take must be confident and forward. You must use eye contact and say the word “NO”; this is very important. Any other language is too ambiguous for the amorous male; and a lack of eye contact equals weakness.
In summary, date rape is real; but you can prepare yourself (or your friend or daughter) for the world of dating by understanding the simple rules to follow. Keep general personal safety in mind at all times, even when on a date. And then learn how to say no should you need to. These small things can go a long way in keeping you safe.